The season to start easing off.
Guys, I’m leaving on a very long trip this month that’s been much anticipated, so you won’t be hearing a lot from me for a bit. But I have to share my excitement, because this has been a long time coming.
Last year I was reading a Substack I gobble up every month called Have Your Cake by Liz Prueitt, the owner of the very famous Tartine bakery in San Francisco. She’s an incredible recipe developer, and after years of working with gluten, she developed an allergy to it (isn’t it ironic?). So now she’s also become an amazing gluten-free recipe developer.
She announced she’s hosting a retreat in Provence, France. A week in a chateau in the countryside, teaching people how to make gluten-free treats. You don’t have to ask me twice. I signed up immediately.
image via retreat host Rěverie
So this, my friends, is where I’ll be for the next three weeks! But wait…. the retreat is only a week, right? Yes, it is. And I thought: I could never go to France for the first time and only stay a week. I need time to explore, rest, and take it all in. So naturally, I extended the trip. My husband is joining me for the first half, and I'll be on my own for the second.
I’m ridiculously excited, more than a little nervous, and the planning really sucked the life out of me. But I’ve landed on an amazing itinerary and some cute new outfits to wear while I prance through France.
Small Rituals
Unlearning, and how small shifts over time reveal a spot where the truth lies
I don’t know when it started. I started recognizing and becoming attuned to the dysfunction inside of me, this war inside me between doing enough and doing too much. Maybe it was years of hearing that rest is something you have to earn, that stillness means you’re falling behind. Somewhere along the way I absorbed the idea that my worth was tied to how hard I pushed, how tired I could make myself, how little I let myself just be. I am constantly witnessing, noticing, and observing this cadence in my body that fights between doing too much and resting. It feels like this is what getting to know my nervous system is all about. I wish it was easy to get to know it and easy to understand what is needed to feel my best. But even now, after all the yoga classes and workshops on somatics, when my body is asking me to slow down, there’s a voice in my head that panics. It tells me I’m being lazy. It tells me I’m losing ground. It’s exhausting. I am fighting a monster that isn’t even outside of me. It’s mine. I built it, out of every message that told me more is always better. And I’m still trying to unlearn it. I use this platform as a way to witness myself feeling into all the struggles with this topic. And it is so front and center these days.
The truth is, exercise saved me. Many years ago I needed structure, something to give me a natural dopamine hit, something to wake me up and slap me across the face. I had bad habits that were not serving me. Bar hopping every night, late night eating, and rarely moving my body. When I started this massive change in my life, I needed that intensity. But like most things that feel good, it became addictive. Exercise is like a natural high. And now, I’m constantly trying to unwind what’s actually underneath it all. It is this current running through everything, this idea that society will call me lazy if I’m not active, if I’m not always engaging, always doing something.
The way it showed up for me this month was when I was looking at my itinerary for Europe and realized almost every single city has a massive hike built into it. Get this… I’m planning to take a 45-minute train outside of Barcelona just to hike Montserrat, this enormous mountain. Coastal hikes in the south of France. I mean, come on. I planned a vacation that’s basically wall-to-wall activity. When exactly am I supposed to rest? Looking at that has me dumbfounded, and luckily I started unwinding some of the activities and am planning more space to experience just being. But wow, what a full circle moment. It’s almost funny that I’m planning peak summer energy right as my own body is starting to ask for the opposite.
Because as I take my morning walks, I can feel the seasons shifting, which means less activity for me. I won’t be biking to work as much, and eventually walking will be just getting the dog around the block. That’s just natural here in Chicago, the days are getting shorter and the nights longer, the cold air comes in and the rain and snow take over, blanketing us, begging us to stop. But my brain still worries that cutting back means I’m not doing enough.
My instincts run true, they tell me to start slowing down the moment the leaves start turning yellow. My brain, though, is still stuck on the cultural idea that more is always better — that I have to push hard to feel like I’ve “earned” it. For a long time, I defaulted to more is more. But now that I’m a little older and wiser, I’m trying to live more seasonally instead. I guess I am hard-wired, and this is an active piece of me I have to watch out for and keep trying to downshift.
Summer is for leaning in — going harder, pushing myself when I have the room to. Fall is different. It’s the season to ease off. So right now, my practice is noticing (like the travel itinerary) where I’m struggling to chill and see where I can give myself a nudge to make a small change. I’m getting ready to travel and just enjoy walking and moving my body simply. And I’ve got a solid yoga plan waiting for when I’m back, so I’m not left with nothing structured to do. But not a wild workout plan that will tank my reserves.
That is what I’m learning, slowly. I don’t have to earn my rest. That listening to the quieter voice, the one that just wants to walk and breathe and be still for a while, isn’t giving up. It is me taking what I need, a natural pause that everyone on this earth deserves.
Vital Kitchen
How I Organize Myself Before a Farmers Market Trip
Before I head out, I ask myself four questions:
What do I want to eat? I take a peek at some recipes and genuinely ask what I’m craving that week.
What cycle am I in*?
What season is it?
What do I already have in my pantry? This helps me avoid buying duplicates and keeps my list focused on what I actually need.
*What cycle am I in? When you pay attention to your menstrual cycle, this is called cycle syncing. If you’re a woman who still gets her period and isn’t on birth control, you can actually plan your meals around where you are in your cycle. If you’ve never heard of this before, I have news for you: it’s a whole world. Certain foods support your wellbeing better than others depending on the stage of the month you’re in.
If you’d like to know more, book a call with me and we can talk about how I can support you through health coaching.
My List in Action
What do I want to eat? Cauliflower.
What cycle am I in? Luteal phase — a great time for cruciferous veggies, which support liver detoxification.
What season is it? End of summer, early fall.
What’s in my pantry? I check what I already have on hand.
Putting that together, I landed on a roasted cauliflower recipe with three dressing variations from Abra Berens, then built my market list around the fresh ingredients I still needed.
Keep Your Pantry Stocked
A great way to avoid constant grocery runs is Thrive Market — I’ve used it for years. Here’s a link for 40% off:
Organic, Healthy Grocery Delivery Online | Thrive Market
An Invitation
This fall I have a lot happening, and a few ways for you to be with me in person. My favorite thing in the world. Two retreats in Fennville, Michigan, and one final virtual group for the year.
Women’s Only Yoga & Mat Pilates Retreat — A Quick Escape to Reset & Recharge
Fennville, Michigan
November 6th-8th
Join Christina Corso, owner of The Yoga Seed for yoga practice and Jennifer Lynne Lavine for mat Pilates, in a retreat built to help you slow down and reconnect, just a short trip from the city.
Move with intention, breathe deeply, and make space to actually unwind. Between the movement and restorative moments, I’ll be cooking all your meals for you — you’ll have everything you need to release tension and come back to yourself.
Step away from the hustle for a few days. Sign up here.
Mushroom Integration Group — Final Cohort of the Year
This is your last chance to be part of this container this year. When working with psychedelics, integration is where the real transformation happens. The experience itself can be subtle, but it is how we make meaning of it and let it actually change how we live.
For eight weeks, we’ll hold space together: processing, reflecting, connecting the dots, and supporting each other through whatever comes up. It’s intimate, it’s consistent, and it’s a rare kind of community experience. This is for people who show up for themselves and each other, week after week.
If you’ve been curious about integration work, or you’ve had an experience you haven’t fully unpacked yet, this is the space for that. Maybe you have had a large dose experience and want to keep up the momentum with a microdosing protocol. Wherever you are, I would love to have you. You can join us from home.
8 weeks, every Monday
6:30–7:30pm CT via Zoom
Session dates: Nov 9, 16, 23, 30 / Dec 7, 14, 21, 28
I hope to see you at one or more of these events this fall. Reach out with any questions. Sign up here.
Crossing the Threshold — A Wintering Wild Woman Rite of Passage
Fennville, Michigan
November 13th-15th
Three days on 50 acres in Fennville — walking the land, gathering around the fire, moving through gentle and restorative yoga, working with our hands, resting in sound bath, sharing stories, making ritual, and finally having space to actually listen to ourselves again.
I’ll be cooking with the same care and intention — nourishing, delicious food made with love. There’s time at the beach on Lake Michigan, in the woods, the labyrinth, the sauna, quiet mornings and deep conversations.
This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about remembering the
parts of yourself you left behind. Sign up here.
What I Watched
TV hasn’t really captured me this season, but The Shards is high on my list — maybe that’s what I’ll be watching on the plane to France.
We’re also finishing up Ted Lasso, and even though this season isn’t as strong as the others, I honestly don’t care. I’m endlessly enthralled with Ted’s character, and I think it’s because he’s more layered than people give him credit for. On the surface he could easily be read as toxic positivity to the nth degree — the relentless optimism, the corny one-liners, the refusal to let anything get him down. But what I love is that the show doesn’t let him stay one-dimensional. We get glimpses of his anxiety, his panic attacks, the grief and self-doubt underneath all that sunshine, and it makes his positivity feel earned rather than naive.
What really gets me, though, is his approach to conflict. Ted almost never reacts in the moment. He takes a beat, actually sits with what’s happening, and thinks it through before responding. And when he does respond, it’s rarely about winning the argument or being right, it’s about finding the fair, generous solution, even when the other person doesn’t want to hear it.
I’ll be honest…. It’s a cheesy show, and the hair, makeup, and clothing design could really use some work. But I’m so attached to it anyway. I love the message, and I genuinely think it’s a classic.